


You Are Beautiful

by Sheepie



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Coffee Shops, Fluff, Hartwin, M/M, Rating May Change, Tags May Change, body issues, chubby!eggsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheepie/pseuds/Sheepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy Unwin works as a barista at the Suited Bean. He's been in love with regular customer Harry Hart for a long time, but he never said anything. Who would want to date someone his size? But Harry sees nothing wrong with the way Eggsy looks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Date

**Author's Note:**

> Un-betaed.
> 
> I regret nothing.

The bell above the door chimed, drawing Eggsy’s attention away from the drink he was making. His heart leapt into his throat and collided with his uvula. The warmest pair of brown eyes he’d ever seen locked on him, and for a moment all Eggsy could do was stand there, brain short circuiting. He mentally kicked himself into motion and gave a small wave, calling out, “Hey Mr. Hart! Usual?”

“Thank you,” Harry answered with the slightest smile, amusement brightening his eyes.

Eggsy finished the drink he was fixing and set it down on the counter, calling, “Rufus,” before he started preparing Harry’s coffee.

It was a familiar routine, one that had been going on for about a month. Every day, precisely at nine o’clock, Harry Hart would stroll into the Suited Bean, dressed to the nines in a bespoke suit that looked like it had been poured on, and ordered a mocha latte with skim milk, hold the foam. Eggsy didn’t know when he started counting down the hours until Harry came, but at some point the highlight of his day turned into those few short minutes when Harry strolled into the coffee shop and made casual conversation with Eggsy.

“How’s the tailor shop doing?” Eggsy asked as he brought the cup over.

“Thank you Eggsy,” Harry said as he accepted the cup. “It’s doing well. I’ll be attending some business abroad in a few days for work, actually.”

“Oh,” Eggsy said, struggling to keep his smile in place. “Guess I won’t be seein’ y’ for awhile then, eh?”

“No, I suppose not,” Harry said. “I’ll miss your coffee.”

Eggsy rubbed the back of his head, musing his blond locks, and chuckled weakly. “S’nufin special.” He swallowed thickly around a lump in his throat and nodded to Harry. “Well, y’ have a good trip, Mr. Hart.”

“Harry, remember?” Harry corrected.

Eggsy bit back a grin. “Right. ‘Arry.”

“Till I return,” Harry said, biding Eggsy goodbye.

Eggsy watched him go, and if his gaze gravitated to Harry’s ass, well could you blame him? He turned around after the door slipped close and nearly ran straight into a grinning Roxy.

“You’re so pathetic,” Roxy said, hands on her hips. “Why won’t you just ask him out?”

“Y’ gone mental, y’ know that? It’s all the foam fumes,” Eggsy said, waving his best friend off. “Posh bloke like that? He don’t want someone like me.”

“And why not?” Roxy demanded, following Eggsy as he returned to the register and took the next order.

“Because he’s about twenty years older?” Eggsy answered, then prattled off the total to the customer.

“That’s just a number,” Roxy stated. “You don’t see it stopping me with Merlin.”

Eggsy shook his head. He should have known she’d pull that card. “Okay, because he’s upper crust.”

“Please, your social status has nothing to do with anything,” Roxy continued as she went to prepare the customer’s drink.

“Fine, then how about because he’s the kind of bloke that has super models on his arm? Not, well…” Eggsy gestured to himself.

He wasn’t exactly the fittest bloke. Sure, at one time he’d been lean, a gymnast even, but after he gave it up, after he started working two or three jobs at the time, eating whatever he could afford, he put on some extra pounds. Now he had, what Roxy so endearingly called, a pooch. He set his hand on his belly, frowning slightly. Maybe if he was a few sizes smaller Harry would be interested, but who was he kidding? Probably not.

Roxy served the drink and turned to face Eggsy. She blew a strand of blond hair from her face and gave him a flat, determined look. “Eggsy, don’t be ridiculous. You’re fucking gorgeous, and only an arsewipe would judge a person based on their size. I mean, it’s 2015. I think people have better things to worry about than what another person looks like. And if that really was the case and he couldn’t see past your body, than he doesn’t deserve you.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes, trying to pretend that his cheeks weren’t burning. Roxy didn’t relent though. “I’m serious, Eggsy. You’re a knock out. You got a killer smile. I’ve seen you charm the knickers off old ladies. I’ve never known you to let your size hold you back before, so what gives now? Ask him out. I think you’d be surprised by the answer.”

He shifted his feet. Maybe she was right. After a moment, Eggsy sucked in a sharp breath and nodded. “Okay.”

Roxy whooped, fist pumping the air, and said, “Yes! You’ll see!”

* * * *

It was two weeks before Eggsy saw Harry again. He came in on a slow Tuesday, when the gray clouds that had been holding out for the last two days finally broke, and the city seemed to be preparing for a biblical flood. Harry walked into the coffee shop, collapsing his umbrella and shaking the droplets off of it.

Roxy elbowed Eggsy sharply in the side and pointed at Harry, who still hadn’t looked over at them. Eggsy shooed her, making a bitch face that he hoped told her to bugger off, and then turned to Harry and greeted, “Mr. Hart! Welcome back!”

Harry turned to him, and Eggsy swore he saw his face light up. His eyes—Eggsy realized they weren’t just brown, but a warm shade of coffee, with a caramel swirl that was utterly decadent—brightened and he smiled broadly at Eggsy. “What did we discuss, my dear boy?”

Eggsy flushed at the pet name, coughing in his hand. “I mean Harry. Usual?”

“Please,” Harry said. He observed the rather empty coffee shop, commenting, “Slow day?”

“Rain seems to be keeping people away,” Eggsy said.

“I’m going to the back!” Roxy abruptly announced, and before Eggsy could question her, she fled into the stock room, leaving Eggsy alone with Harry.

Eggsy shifted his feet, glancing down at his belly, which was gently cupped by his cotton t-shirt. He rubbed at his soft stomach, chewing on his bottom lip. He told himself Roxy was right, that he had nothing to worry about, but looking up at Harry, seeing the way his suit stretched across his shoulders, made Eggsy second guess himself.

He quickly rang up Harry’s order and started to fix his coffee. “How was yer trip?” Eggsy inquired, chasing away any thoughts of asking Harry out.

“Dreadfully boring,” Harry confessed, leaning against the counter with casual grace, his long limbs folded neatly in place. The suit stretched along his lean form, drawing attention to his tight waist and broad chest. He reminded Eggsy of a panther, all tightly corded muscle, a dangerous blend of elegance and powerful. “I must confess, I did miss your coffee. What they had at the hotel was awful.”

Eggsy chuckled and brought the cup over. “Well yer back now. It’s good to see y’.”

Harry accepted the mocha, and Eggsy was sure he’d leave shortly after like he always did, but Harry seemed content to lounge against the counter. Standing this close, Eggsy could smell his cologne, a sweet musk that made Eggsy’s stomach flip-flop.

“So where’d y’ go?” Eggsy asked when Harry didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave.

“Mumbai,” Harry answered, holding Eggsy’s gaze. He blinked slowly, and then stated, “You changed your hair.”

Eggsy immediately touched his hair, which was styled differently. He’d parted it on the left, smoothing out the strands in what he hoped was a more posh style. “Oh, yeah, thought I’d try something new. Wot, y’ don’t like it?”

“No, it looks good,” Harry answered.

Eggsy bit his bottom lip, squirming slightly. “Oh, well thanks. Rox said it made me look real sharp.”

“You look very handsome,” Harry commented, adding casually, “Not that you need any help with that.”

Eggsy sucked in a sharp breath. Harry pushed off the counter and straightened, hooking the umbrella on his arm. Harry studied him, and Eggsy suddenly felt _exposed_ , as if every part of him was up for viewing.

“I don’t know if this would be too forward, but I was wondering if you’d be interested in joining me for dinner?” Harry asked.

Eggsy’s jaw dropped. It took him a second to process what Harry said, and when his brain made the connection, he stammered out, “No shit? Wif me?”

Harry smirked, mirth twinkling in his eyes, and said, “Yes, that would be the idea.”

“I—yeah, _fuck_ yeah!” Eggsy blinked, realizing how loud he said that, and repeated calmer, “I mean, that would be great.”

“Excellent,” Harry laughed, the sound rich and luxurious, and Eggsy wanted to hear more. Harry selected a pen from his inner pocket and pulled a napkin from the dispenser. He jotted down a number with his name and instructed, “Text me later and we’ll work out the detail.”

Eggsy accepted the paper, bobbing his head in response, not trusting himself to speak and not yell. After Harry left, Roxy shot from the back room with a scream, hugging Eggsy tightly around the waist.

* * * *

They worked out the plans over several flirtatious texts. Eggsy learned that Harry liked to type everything out. It was decided that Harry would pick him up at his apartment. Eggsy was nervous, and he almost canceled five times, but Roxy talked him down each time.

“But I was wearing an apron before,” Eggsy had argued. “Maybe he didn’t realize how fat I was.”

“Eggsy you aren’t fat, and again, love, he doesn’t care. Anyone that’s a decent human being doesn’t worry about that,” Roxy had countered. And that was that. She helped him dress, selecting the only black trousers and dress shirt he owned. When Eggsy had suggested his gold bar trackie, she merely slapped him upside the head and stated, “No.”

Harry picked him up in a sleek Porsche that probably cost as much as Eggsy’s entire apartment complex. They made light conversation on the ride to the restaurant, all the while Eggsy fussing with his shirt, acutely aware of the way the seatbelt hugged his stomach. He wasn’t usually this conscious of his body, but sitting beside Harry, he couldn’t help but be aware of every roll, of the way the fabric sat around his body, or the way the seatbelt stretched over his cushioned chest. He wanted to curl in on himself, to try and hide himself, afraid that Harry would look over and realize what a huge mistake he made.

Eggsy tried to play off the feelings with jokes and laughter. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Harry’s eyes though, and the dread he had managed to tamp down before Harry arrived, reared back up like the monster from the black lagoon.

Harry reached across the center console at a stop light and wrapped his hand over Eggsy’s, stopping him from plucking at his shirt nervously. “You look wonderful, by the way,” Harry said, looking at Eggsy. “You stole my breath when I first saw you.”

Eggsy bit his bottom lip, cheeks burning, and whispered, “T-thank you.”

Harry squeezed his hand. They arrived at the restaurant, a French place with a name Eggsy couldn’t pronounce, which probably had five stars. It was definitely the nicest joint Eggsy had ever been too. The tables were overlain with white table clothes and beautiful candles glimmered like tiny captured stars. Eggsy expected everyone to stare when they walked in, to point and call him a beast, to sneer and comment as they went past, but no one batted an eye at Eggsy.

Eggsy relaxed into his seat and accepted the menu. He blinked down at the scribbles, realizing the entire thing was in French. “Ah, ‘Arry?”

“Yes?” Harry peered over his menu.

“I don’t know wot none of this is.” Eggsy said.

Harry blinked, then smiled gently and asked, “Would you like me to order for us? Or I can tell you the dishes. Whichever you prefer.”

“Y’ can order,” Eggsy said, figuring Harry would be the best to judge what would be good. When the waiter came by, Harry placed their orders. A bottle of wine was brought out, and after Harry gave the approval and the glasses were served, the waiter vanished. They picked up the light conversation they had going on the car.

“I’m a little surprise y’ asked me out,” Eggsy confessed after the salads had been served.

Harry cocked his head to the side, one eyebrow raised. “Why would you be surprised?”

Eggsy shrugged. “Don’t know. Lots of reasons, really. Not exactly yer type, I think.” He jabbed at a piece of lettuce, mentally kicking himself. Why did he say anything? Now Harry was going to think about all his flaws. Realize how young and fat Eggsy was.

“Why do you think I kept coming in?” Harry asked in bafflement.

Eggsy frowned. “Cause y’ really like coffee?”

“I despise it,” Harry said. “Why do you think I never actually drank it in front of you? I’m a tea man, if we’re being honest.”

Eggsy set his fork down, trying to wrap his brain around the new fact. “Then why’d y’ keep buyin’ coffee?”

“To see you, my dear boy,” Harry laughed. “I was positively smitten.”

Eggsy took a long drink of wine, not sure if this was real. He lowered his glass. “Y’ mean y’ were interested this entire time?”

“Well, yes.”

And like that, Eggsy stopped thinking Harry was going to come to his senses. They finished their dinner, shared a delicious tort, and stayed an hour after talking about all the places Harry traveled and how Eggsy enjoyed baking in his spare time.

When Harry dropped Eggsy off at his apartment, Eggsy hovered halfway up the steps to the building. Harry lingered, dragging the conversation out longer, not seeming to be in a rush to leave, just as Eggsy wasn’t in a hurry to go inside.

Finally, when it seemed that they had exhausted every topic available to talk about, Eggsy said, “I should go in. I got to open tomorrow.”

“Of course,” Harry said, but he made no move to return to his car, and Eggsy made no move to go upstairs.

Eggsy bit his bottom lip, gaze gravitating to Harry’s plush mouth, which he kept licking and opening, as if he were taunting Eggsy. Desire balled up in his chest, lodged right next to his heart. Eggsy threw caution to the wind, deciding that he might as well go all in, and said, “Oh bugger it all.” He wrapped his hand around Harry’s silk tie and tugged the man up, sealing their mouths together.

Harry immediately wrapped his hands around Eggsy’s ample sides and tugged him close, taking control of the kiss and deepening it. Eggsy let go of Harry’s tie, wrapping his arms around his neck and melting into the embrace.

He didn’t know how long they stood there snogging, but finally he broke apart and whispered hoarsely, “Okay, I really should go in.”

“Of course,” Harry murmured, his lips against Eggsy’s. It was another fifteen minutes of kissing, three more feeble attempts to break apart, and two sets of rumpled clothes, before Eggsy finally bid Harry goodnight, a second date planned, and returned to his flat.

As soon as he returned to his bedroom, he stopped in front of the mirror and set his hands on his stomach, turning to the left, and then the right, before dropping his hands with a smile. “Not bad Unwin, not bad at all.”


	2. This is How A Heart Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry keeps canceling dates, and Eggsy isn't sure why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self-betaed. Sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Robyn = Percival
> 
>  **Update:** I decided I probably won't update this one. What I'll probably do is when I feel inspired, I'll just start a new multi-chapter story featuring chubby!Eggsy. So this one is complete, but always keep your eyes peeled for another one!

Eggsy slipped on his dark gray jacket over his polo and picked up his ball cap from the dresser. He tugged the hat on, flipping the bill up, and appraised himself with a flirtatious smile. Eggsy winked at his reflection and walked out of his bedroom.

Roxy reclined on the sofa in their living room, legs curled up at her side and a book open in her lap. She marked the place she was reading with her finger and looked up at Eggsy with a smile. “Another date with Harry?” Roxy asked.

“Ta.” Eggsy flopped down on the couch beside her. “He’s takin’ me for a drive in the country. Posh, ain’t it?”

“Very,” Roxy chuckled. “What number is this? Four?”

“Five,” Eggsy corrected.

He still couldn’t believe it, really; dating Harry was a dream, and Eggsy was terrified he’d suddenly wake up and be all alone. No one had ever made him feel as precious as Harry does. A part of Eggsy still expected the other shoe to drop, for it all to end and Eggsy to realize that Harry couldn’t even stand to look at him. No one could be as sweet and perfect as Harry. Gentleman like him didn’t exist.

Roxy snapped her book closed and snickered. “God, you’ve become one of those sickeningly in love people, haven’t you? You’re grinning like a loon.”

Eggsy didn’t even realize he’d been grinning. He rubbed at his cheeks, which suddenly ached. “So? Wot about it?”

“Nothing, I think it’s sweet,” Roxy said and shifted around to face him. “Have you guys…”

“Shagged?” Eggsy supplied. He shook his head. “No, we’ve been taking it slow.” Roxy’s eyebrows shot up her forehead, and Eggsy threw a pillow at her. “Oh piss off. It ain’t that big of a deal.”

Roxy caught the pillow with a laugh. “No, it isn’t. I mean, four dates isn’t _that_ long.”

Eggsy huffed and pouted at her. “It ain’t.” But then again, the few guys Eggsy had dated had always slept with him on the first date. Of course, those guys had only been dating Eggsy because they thought he’d been easy. He rubbed the back of his neck and glowered at his lap. “Y’ don’t think he maybe don’t want to, do y’? Like maybe—”

“Don’t even say it,” Roxy cut him off. “It isn’t because you’re fat, Eggsy. And it really isn’t that long. It’s actually sweet. He may want to take it slow, romance you, yeah? I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

Eggsy nodded, still doubtful. He suddenly became aware of the way his stomach swelled beneath his striped polo. The blue and white shirt was tucked in, and his jeans dug into his lower gut, making it so a small pooch hung over. He shot up and started to tug at his shirt, arranging it so it would hide his chub.

A pillow hit him in the head, nearly knocking him over. “Hey!” Eggsy shouted.

“ _Stop_! You look fine,” Roxy snapped, exasperated. Eggsy worried his bottom lip, but conceded and sat back down. Roxy checked her watch and announced, “I have to get going. Some of us didn’t get the day off.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Have fun and don’t stress so much, okay?”

Roxy waited until he nodded before she left for work. Eggsy checked his phone for the time, frowning when he realized Harry was late. Harry was the definition of punctuality, so for him not to be there, alarmed Eggsy. What if something happened, like a car accident?

Eggsy shoved the thought away and busied himself with straightening the apartment. He just finished arranging the stack of books on the coffee table when his phone went off. He checked the number, relief spreading through him when he saw it was Harry. He answered. “Hey, y’ on y’re way babe?”

“I’m afraid not,” Harry said apologetically.

Eggsy furrowed his brows, slowly sinking back down onto the couch. “Did sumfin happen?”

“Something came up at work,” Harry explained with a long sigh. “I’m terribly sorry Eggsy. I really wanted to take you out today, and I know you put in the request for work, but I just won’t be able to make it.”

Disappointment thickened in Eggsy’s throat, but he swallowed it down and said, “Eh, no big deal. Shit happens, right? We’ll try again later. And maybe y’ can come over after work.”

“I don’t think so. I’m actually going to be gone for a couple days. But as soon as I’m back I’ll call you, alright darling?”

Eggsy pursed his lips together, trying to tell himself that there was no reason to get upset—it wasn’t like Harry could control what happened at work—but a paranoia pecked at the back of his brain and set his stomach on edge. “Oh, okay. Have a safe trip,” Eggsy said, adding quickly, “I’ll miss y’.”

“I’ve got to go,” Harry stated hastily, and before Eggsy could get out a parting, he hung up.

Eggsy drew his phone back and looked at it. “Good bye?” He threw his phone down on the couch. He sat there, arms crossed over his chest, stewing in a mixture of anger and anxiety, and tried to decide if Harry rushed off the phone because of the work emergency or because he didn’t want to talk to Eggsy.

“Now wot?” Eggsy asked himself. He’d cleared the whole day to go riding in the country with Harry. He hadn’t been sure what they were exactly going to do—Harry had told him it was a surprise—but he’d been looking forward to _whatever_ it would have been. Eggsy sighed and pushed to his feet. He grabbed his keys and wallet and left the apartment.

* * * *

Eggsy wound up at his mum’s flat. She greeted him with a surprised hello. “I thought you had plans today,” Michelle said, stepping aside to let Eggsy in. She wore a soft green jumper that warmed her olive eyes, her silvery blond hair gathered in a loose ponytail.

“Got canceled,” Eggsy said. “Thought I’d come see y’ and Dais. Where’s my flowah?” He trailed into the living room, where Daisy sat watching _Pippa the Pig_.

She looked up, her entire face lighting up, and shouted gleefully, “‘ggsy!”

Eggsy squatted next to her, jeans stretching over his thick thighs, and smiled brightly at Daisy. “’Come give y’ bruv a hug.”

Daisy launched into his, and Eggsy wrapped his arms around her tightly, instantly feeling better. He nuzzled Daisy head endearingly, then released her and ruffled her hair. “Y’ bein good for mum?”

“’Ys,” She said, skipping over the ‘e’, so she softly hissed the word.

Eggsy chuckled. “Y’ sure?”

Daisy nodded vigorously. Eggsy stood and cocked an eyebrow. “Then do y’ wanna help y’ big bruv make some cookies?”

Daisy leapt to her feet and ran into the kitchen. Eggsy took that as a yes. He chuckled and followed behind her, dodging his mum’s worried look.

“You okay babe?” Michelle frowned at him. “You look upset.”

“Nah, I’m fine mum,” Eggsy reassured. When she didn’t stop frowning, he forced a laugh. “Really, I swear.”

Eggsy collected the ingredients he’d need to for the cookies, gathering them on the small kitchen counter. His mum couldn’t afford much in way of apartments, living in a small two bedroom at the estates. Eggsy’s father had passed away when he was seven while serving overseas. They’d managed to scrape by, his mother returning to nursing, but when Eggsy was seventeen, Michelle got pregnant with Daisy. Luckily she’d given the bloke who knocked her up the boot, telling him to fuck off the first time he raised his voice at her.

It was when their small family expanded to three that Eggsy gave up his gymnastics and started working two to three jobs to help cover bills. Things were easier for Michelle now that Eggsy was out, but he knew she still had to skimp by, and she could never afford to move out of the box of an apartment.

“Come wash up, Dais,” Eggsy ordered.

Daisy grabbed her stepping stool and carried it to the sink. She climbed up and leaned over the sink, turning on the faucet. While she washed up, Eggsy measured out each of the ingredients so it would be easier for Daisy to help him.

Michelle walked over and dropped a kiss to his temple. “If you say so. Let me know if you need any help, okay?”

“We got this, don’t we flowah?” Eggsy asked Daisy with a wink.

“Y’s!” Daisy cheered.

“Okay, okay, I’m going,” Michelle said, green eyes sparkling with mirth, and left the kitchen.

Eggsy helped Daisy move the stool over so she could stand next to him and walked her through the steps. Soon the house was filled with the aromatic scent of brown sugar and vanilla, a dozen chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven. Eggsy whipped up three dozen cookies more, covering the small Formica dining table with cooling trays. It was easy to lose himself in the routine of stirring and measuring. If he focused on how much sugar to add then he didn’t have to think about the fact that Harry had blown him off, or that it felt like a great yawning hole was slowly forming in the pit of his stomach.

“What in the world am I going to do with all these cookies?” Michelle asked when Eggsy finally finished baking. Daisy had given up halfway through to watch _Pippa the Pig_ again and was now napping on the couch.

“I’ll take some over to Jamal’s and the coffee shop,” Eggsy said. He wiped some sweat from his brow. “Plus Roxy will want me to bring some home.”

“You sure you’re alright? You usually don’t bake like this unless you’re upset about something,” Michelle said, picking up one of the cooled treats. She took a bite and moaned. “Christ, Eggs, that’s good. You do something different?”

“Like it?” Eggsy asked, purposely dodging her first question. “Yeah, tried a bit of a new recipe.”

“What’s in it?” Michelle asked.

“Can’t tell y’, it’s a secret.” He winked at her.

“I’m your mum, you have to tell me.”

Eggsy hummed in response, quickly boxing up the baked goods. He dropped a kiss on her cheek and said, “Tell Dais I love her. I’ll talk to y’ later, okay?”

Eggsy dropped the cookies off at Jamal’s apartment and the coffee shop, surprised to see Roxy already gone for the day. By the time he got home he felt a little better about his canceled date. There was nothing to get paranoid about. Harry had a work emergency, like he said. It had nothing to do with Eggsy.

“What are you doing here? I figured you’d be doing the nasty by now,” Roxy said when he entered their apartment. She looked down at the box of cookies in his hands. “I’ll get the milk.”

“Make it beer,” Eggsy said, depositing the box on the coffee table.

They spent the night drinking and eating cookies, and when Eggsy finally crawled into bed, he’d managed to convince himself that the sinking feeling in his chest about Harry dumping him was nothing more than a horrible case of indigestion.

* * * *

The second time Harry canceled their date he said a last minute business trip came up and he’d be out of country for a week. Eggsy had only gotten to see him a few times since their first canceled date, and that had been because Harry had stopped at the coffee shop. The third time Harry canceled their date he spoke with a labored breath. He lamented that he’d come down with a horrible case of the flu. Eggsy offered to make him chicken soup, but Harry assured him he’d be fine in a few days and they’d try again.

Eggsy wanted to say he was surprised when Harry canceled a fourth time, but he really wasn’t. A month had passed since they’d last been out, and in that time, Eggsy could count on one hand how many times he’d seen Harry. They supplemented the lack of physical contact with late night phone calls and text messages, but even those grew infrequent as Harry struggled with what he claimed was work.

“I’m sure he is busy,” Roxy said, tying her apron around her waist. “He still comes by here, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy agreed lamely. “But it isn’t the same.”

Roxy squeezed his shoulder sympathetically. “Give him the benefit of the doubt. Merlin has been swamped with work and we haven’t been able to see each other for awhile.”

“Am I ever going to meet this mysterious Merlin?” Eggsy asked.

“No. Maybe.” She paused and clocked in at the register. “I don’t know. It’s still new.”

“You what, started seeing him a month before I went out with ‘Arry? Isn’t there a rule about yer flatmate meeting yer boyfriend after so many dates?”

“I don’t want to jinx it,” Roxy said and waved him off. “And stop trying to change the subject. I know! Why don’t you surprise Harry? You said he’s working tonight, right? Why not swing by with some takeout. I bet he’d appreciate it.”

Eggsy mulled over the idea as he went around setting up for the morning. “I guess I could try that.”

It would be better than waiting around by the phone for Harry to call.

* * * *

Eggsy stopped at Harry’s favorite Indian restaurant on the way to the Kingsman Tailor Shop. Their third date had consisted of an  impromptu carry out order and splitting the chicken tandoori masala beneath a gazebo while it down poured. Harry had been so distressed by the fact that the weather had deemed that moment to wreck havoc, but Eggsy didn’t care that it was raining or that their clothes were soaked. Snuggled on the bench and feeding each other bites of food had been the perfect date.

Harry’s hair had been disheveled, his cheeks flushed, and his glasses spotted by raindrops. Eggsy had never felt more exhilarated in his life. There had been something so simple, yet so intimate, about being gathered under the gazebo. Eggsy could still feel Harry’s fingers ghosting over his cheeks and vanishing into his hair. Harry had tasted like spice and tea, and when they kissed, it had been gentle, everything that Eggsy had never experienced before. His heart had fluttered, and Eggsy was sure that it was that moment he’d started to fall for Harry.

Eggsy peaked into the brown paper bag, checking the contents with a proud smile. Maybe they could recreate that moment—minus the rain, of course. Night had crept in on Eggsy as he stepped onto Savile Row. The sky turned a deep gray, edged by a fading gleam of orange, which burned across the rooftops. Streetlamps began to turn on, blind stars tethered to the concrete, lighting Eggsy’s way to the shop.

He hadn’t called Harry; instead he wanted to surprise him. A giddy excitement flipped his stomach. Eggsy spotted the shop down the street and he picked up his pace. A black car was taxing in front of the tailor shop. Eggsy slowed, not wanting to walk in on Harry and a customer—he’d hang back, wait till the customer left; if there was a taxi waiting, then they shouldn’t be too long.

Eggsy waited between the streetlamps, where the shadows painted the sidewalk. It wasn’t long before the door to the tailor shop opened and a tall handsome bloke stepped out. His light brown hair was combed and parted at the side, and he was dressed to the nines in a dark gray bespoke suit that looked like it had been poured on him.

Harry followed behind the man, catching him by the wrist. They exchanged a few heated words—the well dressed man looked as if he were on the verge of tears. Eggsy swallowed thickly, his grip tightening on the brown bag. He tried to will his feet to move, but he was paralyzed, unable to do anything but stand there and watch.

The man shook his head, turned away, but then Harry tugged him back and he fell easily into Harry’s awaiting arms.

 _Fuck they look good together._ Eggsy hated that it was his first thought, but it was glaringly obvious how _compatible_ the two looked together. Not only were they age appropriate, but the brunette man was so much posher than Eggsy, and fuck was he fit. The man had the waist of a fourteen year old girl.

Eggsy dropped one hand to his soft belly. He pretended that the stinging in his eyes was because he hadn’t blinked since Harry started hugging the trembling man. Harry whispered something into his ear, and the man nodded, allowing himself to be coaxed back into the shop. Harry moved to mount the steps, and against his better judgment, Eggsy called out, “’Arry.”

Harry froze, his honey-brown eyes widening. “E-Eggsy,” Harry said. “What are you doing here?”

The question was a punch to the gut. Eggsy looked away, finally squeezing his eyes shut. Anger hardened in his throat, choking off his airway. He drew in an unsteady breath and opened his eyes, forced himself to look at Harry, who suddenly looked so _guilty._ Eggsy held up the bag of takeout and answered sharply, “Thought I’d bring y’ dinner, since y’ were workin’ so hard.”

Harry looked at the sack of food and then Eggsy, licking his lips. “I’m afraid now isn’t a good time,” Harry said, apologetically.

“I can see,” Eggsy returned tersely. “Y’ seem to be completely _swamped_ in there. He part of all those business trips?”

“Darling—”

“Save it, bruv.” Eggsy was proud that his voice didn’t quiver, even though he was pretty sure he was vibrating from a mixture of rage and agony. His insides felt like someone had stuck them in a blender and hit the on button. Eggsy threw the bag at Harry’s feet. “Dinners on me, arsehole.”

Eggsy turned sharply on his heels. If he didn’t walk away now he was going to punch Harry in his gorgeous face.

“Eggsy, it isn’t—”

“Wot? It isn’t wot it looks like?” Eggsy shouted as he spun back around. “Don’t fucking patronize me ‘Arry! It’s pretty clear wot it is, so do us both a favor and just piss off, ta?”

“I’m not patronizing you, Eggsy. If you’d stop being a child for five seconds,” Harry snapped, the first sign of anger flashing in his eyes.

Eggsy had to blink to clear his blurring vision. He refused to cry. Absolutely _refused._ “Y’ know what ‘Arry? Y’ can eat a dick,” Eggsy growled. He turned and bolted before anything else could be said.

He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear the lies. He should have known that this would happen, that everything would implode. He never got to be this happy.

Not him, never him.

Eggsy managed to keep it together until he reached home, but as soon as the door slammed closed behind him, he collapsed against it and slid to the floor, his knees drawn to his chest. Air turned to kerosene. His lungs constricted with fire, each gasp a painful burn.

“Eggsy?” Roxy called from her bedroom.

He didn’t answer, couldn’t get his tongue to unseal from the roof of his mouth. He gripped the back of his head with both hands, forehead pressed into his knees. His thighs pushed against his stomach uncomfortably, but he ignored it.

He fucked up. He didn’t know how, but he just knew he did.

The anger that had been fueling him ran dry, leaving him hollowed and fractured. How the hell did this happen? Harry and the brunette man holding tight kept looping in Eggsy’s mind. He bit his lip to keep from sobbing.

_Y’ aren’t fucking cryin’. Y’ goddamn knew it was gonna end like this._

It _always_ ended like this.

It didn’t matter what shape or form the relationship came in, eventually they moved on, found someone _better_. Who’d want him? The only thing he had to offer was a wide waistline.

“Eggsy?” Roxy’s voice drifted closer. He turned his head, cheek resting against his arms, and watched her enter the living room. She froze as soon as her gaze landed on him. “What happened?” She demanded, and on the same breath, hissed, “That bastard.”

He let out a harsh bark of laughter, which dissolved into a pathetic sob. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to will the tears down. _Don’t fucking cry. Don’t give ‘em that._

But it hurt so much. Why did it feel like his heart was breaking?

Roxy crouched next to him, her gentle hands slipping over his shoulders and tugging him against her. Eggsy went willingly, immediately wrapping his arms around her. She didn’t say anything for the longest time, just stroking his hair and letting Eggsy silently cry into her shoulder.

It’d only been a few dates, not enough to get attached; they hadn’t even made anything official. It shouldn’t fucking hurt this bad over something that wasn’t even there. But this hurt worse than when he had appendicitis. He’d gladly cut his heart to make it stop.

“I’m so stupid,” Eggsy croaked into the crux of Roxy’s neck.

“No you aren’t,” Roxy said, tightening her grip on his waist. “He’s the bloody idiot for not realizing what he had.”

“Like all the others?” Eggsy tried to tease, but it came out broken and wet, his nose stuffed up with snot.

 “ _Yes_ , like the others. If they can’t see how amazing you are, then they aren’t worth the fucking dirt on your shoes.” Roxy squeezed his shoulder. “I know a few good places to bury bodies, just give the word.”

Eggsy shook his head, not yet uncurling himself from around her. “I don’t think killing him will solve anything.”

It wouldn’t un-break his heart.

“Maybe not, but it’d teach him a lesson,” She said matter-of-factly. She leaned back and looked down at him, smiling gently. “How about we whip up some brownies and get shit faced?”

Eggsy shook his head, pushing himself to his feet with a groan. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed.”

Roxy climbed to her feet and frowned. “It’s not even nine yet.”

Eggsy shrugged, kissed her cheek, and retreated to his bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and crawled into bed, not bothering to change out of his clothes.

* * * *

Part of Eggsy had hoped that Harry would come knocking at his door in the middle of the night pleading for Eggsy to take him back. Eggsy squashed that hope, crushing it beneath a giant boulder of _I-told-you-so_ and reality. Whatever had existed between him and Harry—and Eggsy wasn’t even sure what it was, because it wasn’t like Harry had really gotten anything—had all been a lie.

Luckily Eggsy had the next day off and he spent it hiding under his blankets, vigorously cleaning the flat, and baking two dozen cupcakes, a three layered Guinness cake, and two trays of dulce de leche brownies. When Roxy came home, the apartment smelled like a bakery.

Eggsy didn’t feel better—in fact he felt more tired—but the pain had subsided, fading into an empty numbness. He funneled what energy he did have into baking. There were so many baked goods and pastries that Eggsy started bringing them to the coffee shop to sell. His treats became so popular that by the end of the week word of mouth had gotten around about the delectable snacks and the Suited Bean was packed full of hungry customers.

On Saturday, black clouds darkened the sky, and by midday it started to drizzle. The rain didn’t deter customers, though, and Eggsy got called in early. He brought with him two dozen cupcakes, which lasted until about two. Near late afternoon the misting turned into a downpour, the rain hitting the windows at a slant.

Eggsy tried to keep up with orders, dogged by exhaustion. He didn’t even notice anymore when the bell chimed, announcing yet _another_ customer.

“Can you take orders?” Roxy called as she started to fix a drink.

“Got it!” Eggsy said and hurried over to the empty register, where a line of customers were waiting.

“Mocha, no foam,” A familiar voiced ordered, sending a shiver down Eggsy’s spine.

Eggsy jerked his head up, eyes wide. “Harry,” he gasped. His heart thundered, each beat a painful slam into his ribcage. “W-what are you doing here?”

Dark circles ringed Harry’s eyes. He looked so worn, as if he hadn’t slept in a week. His usually well-kept hair fell in wispy strands along his forehead. He offered a tired smile, which didn’t quite reach his eyes, and said, “I came to see you. When do you get off?”

Eggsy opened his mouth, fully intent on telling Harry to leave, to _get the_ _fuck out of my store_ , but the words dried up on his tongue when he met Harry’s pleading gaze. There was a broken and desperate air around him, and Eggsy suddenly got the feeling that Harry was a man grasping for a lifeline.

“In an hour,” Eggsy managed to say. The customers behind Eggsy began to rustle anxiously. Eggsy punched in Harry’s order.

“Can we talk?” Harry asked, handing Eggsy the money.

Eggsy bit his bottom lip. He should say no. He should tell Harry to fuck off. But he didn’t want to. He wanted to see him. Being this close to him again, to see the layers of brown in his irises—well-steeped tea haloed with golden honey and deepened with sweet chocolate. It had only been a week, but it felt so much longer—and maybe it was, they hadn’t been on a date in over a month.

God he missed Harry. Eggsy missed the way the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. He missed the sound of his voice. He missed the smell of his cologne—bergamot and oleander, with a subtle undertone of something lethal, like gunmetal.

He missed _Harry_.

Against his better judgment, Eggsy nodded. “Yeah, okay… but not here. Come by the apartment around eight.”

Harry nodded, and he looked like he wanted to say more, but he stepped out of the way, letting the next customer step up to the register.

* * * *

"You sure you don’t want me to stay?” Roxy asked as she shrugged on her coat. “Because I can cancel.”

“No, go on yer date. Have fun,” Eggsy said. “I’ll be fine.”

He hadn’t told her that Harry was coming by. He knew if he mentioned the Harry’s name, Roxy would stay home, waiting to kill him when he showed up. She gave Eggsy a disbelieving look, but kissed his cheek and said, “Alright, well call if you need me.”

“I will,” Eggsy reassured. He closed the door behind Roxy and leaned his forehead against the wood, drawing in a steadying breath. He’d been tempted the rest of the day to call Harry and cancel, to tell him that he couldn’t do it.

Why did he have to show up now? It wasn’t fair how Harry could make Eggsy’s rabbit heart race when he walked into a room. Eggsy was trying to forget what it was like to fall in love with him.

 _I can’t do this. I can’t._ Eggsy fished his phone from his pocket and pulled up Harry’s number. His thumb hovered over the call button. _Just tell ‘em y’ don’t want to talk. That it’s over, and y’ mean it._

But Eggsy didn’t want it to be over.

He screwed his eyes shut. The image of Harry holding the handsome brunette man flashed in his mind, and it was like he’d been punched in the gut all over again. Eggsy hit the call button and brought the phone to his ear.

Harry answered on the second ring. “Eggsy.” He breathed Eggsy’s name like a prayer, and for a split second Eggsy actually believed that he cared.

Eggsy grappled onto the memory, forcing himself to recall the details of the brunette’s face, how debonair he was, how good he looked on Harry’s arm. How he was _everything_ Eggsy could _never_ be.

“I’m almost there,” Harry said.

“Don’t,” Eggsy blurted out.

Harry paused, then asked gently, “Don’t what?”

“Don’t come,” Eggsy croaked. “I just… I can’t do this Harry, _whatever_ it is.”

“Eggsy, please, listen to me. What you saw—”

“I know what I saw, ‘Arry,” Eggsy cut him off. He curled his fingers into a fist and pressed his knuckles hard against the door. “I ain’t stupid, okay? I get it—y’ found someone that’s better suited for y’. We were never gonna work anyways, just too different. A nice fit bloke like that is gonna make y’ real happy.”

_A hell of a lot happier than I ever could._

“Damn it, Eggsy,” Harry groaned. “Would you please just listen to me?”

“Goodbye ‘Arry.” Eggsy hit end, the phone slipping from his fingers and hitting the floor as he clamped his hand over his mouth. A sob clawed its way up his throat, but he swallowed it down.

_No more fuckin’ crying, damn it._

He kept repeating it, hoping that eventually the words would stop his tears. It shouldn’t hurt so bad to lose someone you never even had. Harry had come into his life, a fucking cannon ball that blew down every single one of Eggsy’s walls, and now he was left standing in ashes.

He didn’t know how long he stood there trying to collect the pieces of his heart back up. His muffled sobs faded into hiccupped gasps. Every other time the guy had walked away, Eggsy had just flipped him off and jumped to the next guy. They hadn’t mattered, not like Harry had. If someone had told him that this was what it was like to fall in love, he would have never taken Harry’s order that fateful day.

A knock jolted him away from the door. “Eggsy! Eggsy, open up, please,” Harry called.

Eggsy staggered back, hands limp at his sides, and stared at the door with wide eyes. “’Arry?” He sucked in a sharp breath. “W-wot…”

“Please, Eggsy, just open up,” Harry pleaded.

He shook his head, then realized Harry couldn’t see and cried, “No, just… just _leave!”_

“Not until you listen,” Harry shouted. “What you saw isn’t what you thought it was.”

“It was pretty clear, ‘Arry!” Eggsy yelled, swiping angrily at his tears.

“Robyn is just a co-worker Eggsy, that’s it,” Harry said. “He lost his lover, a dear friend of mine, and I was just trying to comfort him. Nothing happened.”

Eggsy froze. “W-wot?”

“Please, just open the door and I’ll explain everything,” Harry coaxed.

Eggsy looked at the door knob, chewing on his bottom lip. He unlocked the door and wrenched it open, staring up at a drenched Harry. Harry met his gaze, and Eggsy could see the sadness weighing him down, soaking him deeper than the rain.

“’Arry… I-I—” _Fuck_. What did he say?

Was he even telling the truth or was it all some elaborate scheme to win back Eggsy’s affections? _No._ Harry wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t the kind of man to fabricate a story. Harry had always been, and always would be, a perfect gentleman.

Harry closed the space between them and grabbed Eggsy’s face with both hands, claiming him in a passionate kiss. Eggsy’s hands immediately found their way into Harry’s damp hair. Kissing Harry was like tasting the sun. His entire body grew warm, and he forgot everything but how wonderful it was to be held by Harry, as if he were coming home.

Harry broke away, and Eggsy had to bite back a groan of protest. “I’m sorry,” Harry whispered. “I never meant to hurt you—I should have told you, but it was so sudden, and work has been a nightmare, and everything just got away. Robyn means nothing to me, he’s only a friend.”

Eggsy studied Harry’s eyes, searching for any trace of a lie, but there was nothing there but suffering.

“I’m sorry,” Eggsy whispered, struggling to find his voice. He felt like an idiot. His emotions and self-doubt had gotten the best of him and he’d wrecked everything. “About everything—yer friend, the fight.  I should ‘ave listened. Christ, ‘Arry. Y’ deserve so much better than me.”

“Stop it,” Harry said, still cupping Eggsy’s face with both of his hands. He stroked his thumb across his cheek, brushing away a stray tear. “You’re all I want, all I could ever want. From the moment I’ve met you, you’ve stolen my breath. You light up a room without even realizing it, and I’ve been eternally grateful that I get to see you shine.”

”Fuck,” Eggsy half-laughed, half-sobbed. He scrubbed at his eyes. “Corny arsehole.”

“Maybe, but I’m _your_ corny arsehole,” Harry murmured, leaning down so his mouth drifted closer to Eggsy’s.

“Fucking right y’ are.” Their lips met and Eggsy wound his arms around Harry’s neck. He could have stayed there forever, lost in the feel of Harry’s mouth against his own, but he knew there was so much more they needed to discuss.

When they parted, Eggsy went and fetched a towel for Harry. After Harry dried off, they settled on the couch, and this time Eggsy listened. Harry explained James’s shocking passing—he skipped over the details, and Eggsy didn’t press, not wanting to dredge up painful memories. When Harry finished, eyes moist with tears, Eggsy took his face in both of his hands and kissed each of his eyelids.

“I’m sorry,” Eggsy whispered, over and over again.

“It’s all right, my love,” Harry said, taking Eggsy’s hands into his.

Eggsy’s heart skipped a beat at the pet name. “Wot did y’ call me?” He asked.

“My love?” Harry raised an eyebrow. “Do you not like it?”

“Say it again,” Eggsy ordered, breathlessly.

Harry smiled and kissed Eggsy’s knuckles. “My love.”

“Again,” Eggsy pleaded. Each time Harry said it, a thrill ran through him.

Harry laughed and drew Eggsy into his embrace. “My love,” Harry repeated, and kept repeating all night long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr.](http://sheepunderthemountain.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be adding more when I feel inspired. Who knows, maybe an actual plot will form!


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